It may be helpful for you to review the definitions of the following words commonly used on this site in order to have a better understanding of the process being described.


Adversarial

This is the approach generally used within the legal profession and is, in fact, the basis upon which the legal system is built. It is an approach which tends to be positional and to highlight differences. Hostility is increased, tension heightened, and often bitterness is the result. This method is based on the assumption that the only way to resolve conflict is for one side to win and the other to lose.


Child Specialist

A child specialist is either a registered clinical counsellor (RCC), a registered clinical social worker, or a registered psychologist. These specialists concern themselves solely with the needs, interests, fears and other emotions which the children in a divorcing family feel. It is their role to give the children a voice in the law office and make sure that everyone is considering the impact of their decisions on the children.


Collaborative Process

The aim of this method is to resolve conflicts, which exist both superficially and beneath the obvious matters in dispute. There is a recognition that, while conflict is a part of the ongoing cycle of change in our lives, and is neither good or bad in and of itself, conflict need not necessarily be harmful. It is possible and desireable to establish a cooperative approach to conflict resolution before an adversarial pattern developes. This method seeks resolutions that meet, to the greatest possible degree, the needs and interests of both parties.


Conflict

Conflict is the actual or perceived discrepancy between the needs, values and interests between two or more parties which results in unwanted stress, bitterness and acrimony among them.


Divorce Coach

A divorce coach is either a registered clinical counsellor (RCC), a registered clinical social worker, or a registered psychologist. They do not, however, act in their capacity as counsellors in the Collaborative Process. They take on a role similar to that of a sports coach. They come into the process and work collaboratively with both parties and both lawyers. It is their role to help the parties recognize and deal with the emotional issues which arise during the divorce process. The role of these professionals is discussed at greater when the Collaborative Process is dealt with at length.


Financial Specialist

A financial specialist is either a Chartered Accountant (CA) or Certified General Accountant (CGA) who has had mediation and/or collaborative process training who can be hired by a separating couple to assist them in ascertaining the most effective ways of disentangling their finances. He can assist in tax planning, investment counselling and asset division. While a financial specialist may not be required in all cases they can be invaluable when substantial assets are at stake.


Issues

These are the topics or areas of discussion that are recognized by parties in conflict as being the items which it is important to address in order to resolve the dispute between individuals.


Interests

What we refer to as a party's interests are the many goals, hopes and avoidance of fears that an individual possesses. These consist of the matters which are the actual needs of an individual involved in a conflict and they may not be immediately recognized by either party to a conflict.


Needs

Each of us has certain basic human needs such as for food, shelter, and safety. However we also all have certain other needs such as need for self-respect, self-confidence, achievement, appreciation, and other such matters which are known as "ego needs". We also have "social needs" for things such as belonging, acceptance by one's peers, and giving and receiving friendship and love. Then there is our need for self-fulfillment (realizing our potential, and being creative). It is these needs which motivate individuals and lead to the development of interests and positions people take when in conflict.


Paradigm Shift

A paradigm is defined as an example, pattern or framework of beliefs. Thus "our paradigm" is our mind-set or world view or the way we generally see reality. It is the perception we hold that determines the way we act in the world and how we respond to others in the world. It especially controls how we respond to conflict. The phrase "paradigm shift" is used to describe any sort of major shift or radical transformation of mind-set or world-view. In other words a "paradigm shift" is a fundamental change in our understanding of how something works.


Positions

These are identified as the solutions each party introduces in a conflict which does not take into account the needs or interests of the other party. They are generally stated as solutions to the problem with which the other party is expected to agree. These positions are generally firmly held beliefs about how the conflict should be resolved and are framed in terms of "I am right" and "you are wrong".


Power

Power can be defined as the degree to which we can advance our own goals and influence the ability of others to attain their goals. However, power can also be defined as "the ability to achieve common ends for families, groups, and organizations of all kinds. In the end power is a matter of perception. It is not something we own like a car or a coat, rather it is a matter of how we perceive own strength and how others perceive us.